She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
