There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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