I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
