Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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