we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
