He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
