i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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