is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
