after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
and you fell through a lawn chair
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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