It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
