Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just had sex on a roof
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
