I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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