I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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