wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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