My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
