why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize