How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
