So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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