I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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