Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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