A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
