We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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