I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
