I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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