dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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