I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
