my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize