I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
