Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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