i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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