Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
