so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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