somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
