He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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