she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
