his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
