i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
