:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The best revenge is premature balding
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
