I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
