she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
