i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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