I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
