Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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