Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
