Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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