You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
