My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
