i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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