So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
