are you so shy because you have an std?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
