I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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