Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize