Quick, to the slutcave!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
