im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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