My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize