she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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