shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
