You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize