Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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