I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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