I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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