I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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