I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
