she was so not down for the gang bang
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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