My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
