the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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