I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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