is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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