Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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