You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
