Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
