mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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