There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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