dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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