I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
