god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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