I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
