I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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