so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
