ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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