I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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