"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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