im drinking this country out of the recession.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
