We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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