Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
